:: .:d i c e d:. ::

I'd like to write a poem or prose so nice
The ones that ooze with good advice
The types full of wisdom and truth
The ones that can calm and soothe

Or maybe a verse full of wit
That'll make readers go "That's neat!"
But all I can come up with is this lousy thing
About the things I keep wishing

I should come to terms with it
I really can't write for shit
DAMMIT!

Free Palestine!

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v Wednesday, September 11, 2002 v

I'm not the kind of person who often dwells on the past. I think about it, wish about it, get emotional about for sometime, then I move on & get over it, even forget about it. Strangely, a dam broke yesterday. I think it started when I was helping my dad make konnyaku jelly. I was getting them out the wrong way. He told me to 'some word I don't understand' the jelly. I asked him wat the word meant and he totally insulted me! He said he couldn't believe I got an A1(on my 2nd try for Malay). Fine, he thinks I don't deserve it, I'll use my B3! Besides, the damn word sounds more Indonesian than proper Malay and there is a difference!And I just couldn't sleep last night. And I remembered stuff that hurt me in Pri 6. It was just pressure to perform just cos my sister did well. I was in Pri 6 and in my sister's shadow. She had aced her PSLE and shone in everything she had done last year. And then, my mum wanted me to quit
Netball(against my will). I had to see the principal because of that. Ugh...that Lucy Soh. She had this boring lecture which she should've told my mother, not me. And then she starts talking about my sister. Praising her, I don't mind but she was like,"I'm sure, if your sister was capable, so are you." I felt like shouting at her! When I returned to class, it was Malay and Cikgu Jamaliah was talking about some Malay Maths quiz show that were looking for contestants. Guess who entered last year and won sum prizes? My sister dearest. And practically everyone was turning behind and saying, "Eh, your sister joined last year didn't she?" and things like tt.
Luckily, I was seated at the back of class and alone becuase I did a stupid thing. Tears just poured. I wasn't bawling because of misery. Tears just came out of nowhere. (Okay, not true. Tears are produced by the tear glands) I was pissed that almost everyone was looking to me and seeing if I could accomplish wat she'd done. I wrote a poem that I'm proud of. Anyway, I didn't write it at that time. I wrote it...years later. It's one of my better ones.
Shadow
I walk the given path
Safety assured
Tried and tested
By the one before me
I walk the given path
I trail in the shadows
I am the shadow
That follows
Whatever has been done

Will I ever see the sun?

~wYLdeFiLLy~ 9:09 pm [+]