:: .:d i c e d:. ::

I'd like to write a poem or prose so nice
The ones that ooze with good advice
The types full of wisdom and truth
The ones that can calm and soothe

Or maybe a verse full of wit
That'll make readers go "That's neat!"
But all I can come up with is this lousy thing
About the things I keep wishing

I should come to terms with it
I really can't write for shit
DAMMIT!

Free Palestine!

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v Thursday, November 20, 2003 v

I talked a lot (relatively actually, more than I ever did in my whole life) to X while banner painting yesterday. He is seriously one hell of a nice guy and he knows everyone. Some lucky girl will have him one day, even though he is so blur.

Anyway, I had 2 disturbing dreams.

One I dreamt that my sister, some unknown person (Ghazali, I think, don't ask me why he's in my nightmare) and me were in my room. And my sister started shrieking she saw a toyol. And I didn't believe her. And then I saw a glimpse of it's grotesque blackness and we both started screaming for my dad to come up and say a prayer to kill it. But it ran away through the window before he could come up to my room.

The other one, my sister was a suicide bomber for an Islamic cause. And I remember looking at her prepare, neither helping her nor pleading with her. It was a sick sense of disbelief, knowing that I would lose her to a cause that I'm very unsure of. And then, when I heard the news that there had been another attack, I knew I had lost her. That's when the pain and the grief hit... Despite being a dream, it was all so real... I don't ever want to lose her.... Or all my loved ones...

Which brings me to my level of acceptance and iman... I don't think I have reached a satisfactory level where I am ready to die/sacrifice in the name of Allah. My human flaws of greed and desire still has me heistating and wanting unnecessary stuff.


I don't think I made it as an OGL... The interview sucked.

~wYLdeFiLLy~ 10:32 pm [+]